Hmmm

Monday, 25 July 2005

Aargh Diaries Tips for those going to UK or USA

My friend, who is working in London, on vacation in Mumbai has even stopped criticisng the Mumbai Trains! After all, he says, it gives you a Compressed Body Massage, and increases Competitive Spirit(useful at the corporate level), unlike the London trains . Earlier it was the terrorists now its the police. (For those who decide the innocence of a person based on religion, well he happens to be a Hindu.). At the same time, he doesnt want to be a chicken either and asked me for some safety tips. Here is my list, feel free to make your suggestions.

1.Wear a Bush/Blair Tshirt
2.Avoid jackets . Well if you are about to die from cold, you can be hospitalised and have a chance of survival. But if its a jacket, people could think you are a suicide bomber. (Thanks to blogger

Looking for dream life partner?

Posted by wise donkey at 3:09 PM | Post Comment | Permalink

Aargh Diaries Whats in a name
Mood: crushed out
Topic: Aargh Diaries

Mr.C was very agitated over the death of the Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes who was mistakenly shot by the London Police. and over the news -Police leaders say they will not abandon their "shoot-to-kill" policy and warn more innocent people could be killed in the fight against terrorism

After a silent prayer (though I dont know how useful) for his soul to rest in peace (hmmm if I was murdered wonder, if my soul will rest in peace), couldnt help asking Mr.C

"If it had been an Indian, would you believe so quickly that he would have been innocent?"

Spontaneously Mr.C said, "Of course I would, but it would depend on ....."

Never mind the IRA or the Naxals, we all know it would depend not on the details but just the name.

PS : Wonder if the fairness cream market will use this and market a special fairness cream for people who go and work in Europe or USA. After all if women can get scared into buying the fairness cream to get a good husband or job, surely people wont mind using it to save their life?

Spontaneously Mr.C said, "Of course I would, but it would depend on ....."

Never mind the IRA or the Naxals, we all know it would depend not on the details but just the name.

PS : Wonder if the fairness cream market will use this and market a special fairness cream for people who go and work in Europe or USA. After all if women can get scared into buying the fairness cream to get a good husband or job, surely people wont mind using it to save their life?

Posted by wise donkey at 8:38 AM | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Monday, 25 July 2005 9:05 AM

Sunday, 17 July 2005

Aargh Diaries People we Dislike

Boss was out since Super Boss had come down, and to minimise the Monday Morning stress and as a compensation for all the reports we had prepared for Super Boss, we decided to play some game at the office. . we decided on "fish pond", but without names. And after consensus decided it would be a fish pond on Peope we dislike without referring to the person. (Well if one wrote against another, it would be a mini WWF) and so the paper chits were passed and the notes written, some hurriedly, some after thought and dropped into a box and read out aloud.

Some excerpts on "People we Dislike"
People who claim to be sensitive and get hurt easily, yet are insensitive to others feelings
Brats who win by wailing and parents of those brats
People who buy gold and other luxury items without bill, to avoid paying the sales tax
People who buy pirated cds and books, and yet never think they are indulging in anything criminal
People who support porn but would hate if their family members appeared in them
People who think the rapist is honourable, if he agrees to marry the girl
Women who say they should be treated like their brothers, but never think of their duties to their parents
People who dont donate because, they were never approached by ngos and no one from the ngo begged or praised them for generousity
People who believe they know A-Z when it come to food tastes
People who
will pay few hundreds for pizza but not a hundred for CRY
People who expect their maids to be on time, but never on time for work
People who believe the solution for the country is military rule and dictatorship, so what if the dictator can be corrupt.
People who expect you to eat as much as they want to eat, to give them company, but wouldnt dream of having just a juice to give you company.
People who dont mind paying a bribe if it smoothens things ou
People who always believe there is a conspiracy against their caste, religion
People who never vote, wouldnt dream of encouraging their children to join politics, but blame others for electing criminals
Fat people who expect you to tell them that they have reduced (Why dont they just use the weighing machine?)
People who think housewives (homemakers) just watch TV and gossip and spend money
People who look down
on a man who decides to be a homemaker
People who believe they are good and can never cause harm or hurt
People who think "white" guys are smarter and the africans brutes
Parents who expect others to praise their children
People who believe advertisements
Men who expect their wives to take care of home and also go outside to earn
People to whom "24000 die everyday from hunger, please click hungersite to give free food" means nothing
People who think its ok to waste electricity and water, if they pay the bill
People who think the height of patriotism is watching Roja/Swadesh or a Sunny Deol movie
People who thinking shopping is cure for their misery
People who will not let their daughter or son marry a person from army, yet expect others to join the army
People who will write a blog on this (Uh oh) and people who will forward it their friends
without reading it completely (hmmmmmm)
People who expect promotion, but never think about their qualification or experience
People who are ungrateful for what they have been given
People who dont donate blood, but if they require it, would hope others wont be like them
Parents who think TV is a babysitter
People who dont care when a woman dies every 5 minutes in India due to childbirth, even when it is preventable
Bridegrooms who think its ok when the bride's parents pay the marriage expenses
People who talk about culture but will drink cola over tender coconut
People who waste office time and paper and energy by thinking of games like this, and discussing about games like these afterwards, and then admire the Japanese for their productivity and commitment.

Well there was a guilty pause. And we all by mutual understanding went back to our work

PS : Hmmmm and when it comes to someone who makes us feel guilty, we dont dislike, we simply hate...

Looking for a date?

Posted by wise donkey at 11:03 PM | Post Comment | Permalink

Wednesday, 13 July 2005

Aargh Diaries - Desires and Happiness

Aargh Diaries - Desires and Happiness
Today's lunchtime topic revolved around happiness.
And philosophies and religion and spiritual gurus were discussed with zest.
And then Mr.C mentioned that desires were the root cause of unhappiness.

Aaargh!! Easy to say dont desire and perhaps he wouldnt desire promotion and perks.
But I have plenty of desires and at that point, merely desired to have my lunch in peace.

Sure unfulfilled desires maybe the cause of unhappiness, fury, stress etc.
But why blame the desires, and why make me think I should feel guilty about desires?

"Excuse me Mr.C, but I have plenty of desires and some of course go unfulfilled, but still I dont become unhappy" I said.
"Impossible" said Mr.C

"Well its simply that I dont desire happiness.I dont think life has to be fair and that I have to be happy all the time. I have desires, when they are realised, I become happy. But if they are arent, I dont become unhappy since, I didnt desire happiness anyway from my desires"

"And whats the point of desires and if they are not to make you happy" sneered Mr.C
"To keep me going and to make life interesting. I desire a promotion and will TRY to get it. If I get it, I will be satisfied that my desire got fulfilled, and probably be very happy too. But if I dont get it, since I didnt link promotion with my happiness, I wouldnt be unhappy about it."

I could have possibly gone on, but people hate the holier than thou attitude. Thanks to my conversation, my immediate desire got fulfilled. The room temperature dropped and I was no longer obliged to have lunch with others and came out and had lunch in peace at my own table.

Am I happier now, Aaargh too complicated to think of that while I enjoy my lunch in peace !

PS : Aargh is fictional character. And gayathri/wise donkey is still away and not blogging on regular basis

Top-of-the-line jobs!.

Posted by wise donkey at 1:50 PM | Post Comment | Permalink

Monday, 11 July 2005

A Butterfly called happiness

Muse : You want to write a blog post on happiness?Wouldnt it be better to write a book on it with the title " 376 ways to be happy" and appear on talkshows and promote it, and try to make a million? After all everyone wants to be happy.

Self : Maybe I dont want to be happy

Muse : Huh I know you are on the crazier side, but surely everyone wants to be happy

Self : Well there is a difference between satisfaction and happiness. For eg, if my home gets water (which can be considered a luxury in India) I am merely satisified, but if the water supply is cut off for a day, I become unhappy and grumble. Similarly when

Self : an excerpt from an article I read in

Muse : Ha Ha so you do want to be happy and blissful

Self : Well its something like wanting the butterfly, the moment you try to catch it, it flies away. Act indifferent and it comes to you.

Muse : Hmmm if happiness is a butterfly, what is sorrow, a mosquito :D

Self : Maybe a caterpillar :)

Are you an F1 fan?

Posted by wise donkey at 9:04 AM | Post Comment | Permalink

Sunday, 19 June 2005

Dont watch Anniyan if

1.You are going to watch it on pirated CDs
2.You are going to buy a black ticket to watch it
3.You are going to the theatre to just have fun and tease the person in front of you
4.You want to show off your Anniyan ringtone 25 times during the movie
5.Its going to be just another movie, and the message is not going to mean anything for you (OK Ok, its none of my busineSS: D)

Read somewhere on the effect of the play Harichandra (The king who refused to utter a lie inspite of hardships) on Gandhi when he was young.

Can a movie make a difference or will it be a hit at the box office without its message hitting your heart?

The choice is yours.

PS : I am still enjoying my vacation and will be back during the 2nd week of July

Can’t have enough of SRK?

Posted by wise donkey at 11:34 PM | Post Comment | Permalink

Sunday, 15 May 2005

bye sob sob bye

A trip, for me.
Means shopping and packing and no time for the zillions
(ok its just 19) posts on my mind which I couldnt post.
Hmmm perhaps I better a write a reminder to write a post on Time Management.
Well it means a break for you too:)

But please please do come and check this blog, during the 2nd week of July
If you think you are likely to forget and that in this vast cosmos of blog world I am pretty insignificant,
and highly unlikely for you to remember the dates, well leave a note,
I will hunt you wherever you blog and pester you to read my blogs:)

But since I have a contract with few HR Vice Presidents (they were managers but after torturing oops exposing their employees to my blogs, to prevent net surfing, they have been promoted to Vice Presidents), and cant shut down the blog, I am leaving the links to some of my favourite
posts.

Please read them one at a time. Dont forget to read the Health Warning mentioned in the blog description. For those who have become immune by my posts, click http://life007.blogspot.com for the full blog posts list.
Began with a Rupee for Lalo
Waves vs Rocks
Please Dont Hurt the Eyes
Pawn Power
target=_blank>You & Tsunami
7 things you could have said but didn't
Aitraaz
Right to Life, for the Wife
Single & Ready to Mingle
Before walking off into the sunset
href="http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com/2005/01/compatibility-checklist.html" target=_blank>Compatibility Checklist
The Village
After 20 years
Myths
Papa don't Preach
Sex life goes up in Smoke
color=#5588aa>Leo
Wanting to go for a drive, taken for a ride
Lessons from a Cat
Dog Dislikers
The Journey Continues
5 minutes
Short Sleep Solution
href="http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com/2005/01/hunger.html" target=_blank>Hungersite
Life007 not a guy?
Van Gogh on Valentine
Black - No filmi formulas
What should I do??
Aargh Diaries - Men Mars Women Venus Eunuch Hell
href="http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com/2005/04/aargh-diaries-mrpopular-saurav-ganguly.html">Aargh Diaries - Mr.Popular & Saurav Ganguly
Women Cricketers & Ads on TV
Aargh Diaries - Monday Morning Mystery
Donkee's suggestion for success at work

The Do U Know Series http://life007.blogspot.com/2005/03/do-u-know.html not included.

Kareena or Rani?
Saif or SRK? Rock your vote now at IIFA. Make sure your fav star wins!

Posted by wise donkey at 1:28 PM | Post Comment | Permalink

Sunday, 8 May 2005

Donkee's suggestion for success at work
Mood: cheeky
Topic: Wise Donkey

Today had been busy giving suggestions to my friend wcm who wanted some work related suggestions. Thought I would share few of my suggestions with other bloggers.

For career advancement
Get a greeting card get with a puppy. (Dont choose a Pamela card since the attention will be on the pic and not your message.)

All along you have been my guide, philospher and mentor Read More...
Alternatively if you want just a raise and dont have time to get cards and can only send emails adopt this strategy

Dear (name of the hr manager of your rival company)
I thank you for your offer
of ______ (the designation of ur boss) post and the salary of Rs ________ (slightly higher than ur boss salary) (of course better instead of Rs u use $ and let ur boss convert.)

Read More...

If you are fired dont worry, can help with your covering letter for another job application too.

For a fantastic career to God you pray,
And hope you wont be some manager's prey
Donkee is here to help your luck sway
Write this to HR,and get your way.
Read More...

This is for mngt babe blogger who wanted my "advice "for freshers interview in the same blog.

1.Get a morphed photo Read More...

Can bloggers guess what the job would have been if not " Corporatised" ?

Posted by wise donkey at 5:34 PM | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Sunday, 8 May 2005 7:05 PM

Thursday, 5 May 2005

Aargh Diaries - Thief & Rapist
Mood: incredulous
Topic: Aargh Diaries

A conversation between Mr.C & Aargh

Aargh : "Imagine if a thief stole some money from your house, brutally assaulted you in the process and got caught and just before being sentenced by the judge, files an application, saying will work for you as your security, if necessary with reduced salaray, and the judge, delays the sentence and summons you for a reply, what will you say?"

Mr.C : "What nonsense! Of course I will say no. And why on earth will a judge think I will agree to the thief's offer?"

Aargh : "Well who knows, if it can happen for a rapist, why not for a thief.
And it has happened before, when the victim has married the rapist, and can happen again. Wish the girl, and her family, will be sensible like you Mr.C"

Posted by wise donkey at 5:41 PM | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Sunday, 8 May 2005 7:12 PM

Saturday, 30 April 2005

Kidding - What can I write When I cant write
Mood: sad
Topic: Kidding

Dear Diary
Today, I saw another kid write a diary
But then I dont know to read or write
And even if I knew
I wouldnt get time from the work, to write

To celebrate growing old, birthday
Hope the children stays young, is the wish today
Some said, today, April 30th, is my day
Anti Child Labour Day, Today

After having outlived my use
My kids, will I too have to use?
Or their future will I be able to choose.
And save them from abuse and bruise and say I refuse?

Wish I could think about myself & my future today
But I have to work for my family to survive, today
Though to think about myself and write a diary I dont have time,
Hope someone will think of me and spend for me their time...

- Perhaps by a child, from the data given below Read More...

Posted by wise donkey at 1:23 PM | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Sunday, 8 May 2005 7:16 PM

Newer | Latest | Older

«	July 2005					»

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
					1	2
3	4	5	6	7	8	9
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28	29	30
31